At one time I believed that love could be controlled or limited, but time and experience has led me to know that love is truly an uncontrollable emotion.   As an author, my work has mostly focused on the matters of the heart. I know that the heart wants what it wants, and it is often little that one can do to change that.

Understanding love and emotions is not an easy task.  Keeping love alive take work and a commitment from all individuals involved.  It is a feeling that we hold very tightly and it comes from deep within.  Love is an emotion that can make one lose themselves, and at the same time make you feel that you are on top of the world.  For me it was an amazing feeling that creeped right into my heart when I least expected it, and I couldn’t reject.  So with each passing day I knew I never wanted to give it up. I loved the feeling of love.

But what happens when love begins to hurt?  Is hurting a natural part of loving? These were all questions that surfaced in my mind when I heard of the tragic killing of two young women by their husbands; one of the victims I knew; the other I thought I had met before but was not quite sure of where our paths had crossed.  My comfort zone as a writer has always been love and all things that love involves.  But one subject that I have so carefully stayed away from was the deadly side of love.  As I sit and write this blog my heart is aching and I don’t like the feeling that is tearing at my soul.  My heart is hurting for every woman who has suffered the pain, fear, and isolation of love gone wrong.  As I write; I have more questions than answers:  Is jealous a sign of love?  How can you tell when someone in a relationship is too controlling?

Feelings of jealousy are normal in relationships, because the love we share with individuals makes us very protective of them.   But I must say that it is how we react to that jealousy that makes the difference between love and control.

No one has the right to control who you talk to or who you’re friends with.  Your circle of friends shouldn’t have to stop because of your relationship with a partner unless you want it to.

Love comes and love goes; love is profound and shouldn’t be treated lightly.  It is a wonderful feeling; so powerful that it can cause pain, but always live in the awareness of what is healthy love and what is not.  I was told by a very wise man that women are the true lovers of the world- with this in mind; we should never be so blinded by love that we fail to live in the reality of what is real.  Please let’s pray for all the individuals who may be trying to find a way out of an abusive relationship and the families who have loss love ones to the hands of domestic violence.